Tee'd about Urban Outfitters Marketing?

Screen capture of an image for the graphic t-shirts section of the Urban Outfitters website, in which the men are all fully clothed and the women…less so:

Four More Women Sue Dov Charney For Sexual Harassment

Weeks after a lawsuit was filed against American Apparel CEO Dov Charney for raping a former employee, four more women have come forward with charges of sexual harassment.

A history lesson for Chris Brown — watch it. Now.

The death toll from Japan’s earthquake and tsunami has topped 10,000

 Donate to help relief efforts here.

Pain Body

Are you finding it difficult to experience what Eckhart Tolle calls being “present” through the chaotic energy and challenges of everyday life? Two words can lead you back to that grounded and relaxed place where creativity and solutions can be accessed: Be Calm.

At this point in my life

The sum of us is greater than its parts

Survivor Psalm

I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was
not a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.
There is no shame in losing
such fights.
I have reached the stage of
survivor and am no longer a
slave of victim status.
I look back with sadness
rather than hate.
I look forward with hope
rather than despair.
I may never forget, but I need
not constantly remember.
I was a victim.
I am a survivor.

Gender Bia: Dr, Pepper is for Men. For men only. Men Only.

Dr. Pepper is market-testing a new product, Dr Pepper 10, which is a 10-calorie (per 12 ounces) soda aimed at men aged 25-34. The problem the company faces is how to market a diet product to men, given the association of dieting with femininity. Dr. Pepper has apparently decided to face this challenge head on and make it very, very clear who this product is and isn’t meant for.

Campus gropers told to look over shoulders

Sale on women parts?

Giving Good Face

Instinctively, we may be able to figure out basic emotions (and whether they are genuine – such as whether or not a person is “smiling with their eyes“), but what about when people are fighting or trying to deceive like a sociopath does? I found interesting an interactive quiz on micro expressions, developed by Paul Ekman, PH.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California Medical School in San Francisco. Can you be fooled?

Wake Up Call

wake up…Wake Up…WAKE UP!

Do you know where you are and what you are doing right now? Are you mindful of all you do throughout the day? Or do you operate in autopilot mode most days?

This mandala reminds us to take back our lives. How are we allowing others to determine/run our lives? How are we allowing the fears in our minds determine/run our lives? Are we living our truth? This idea pushes the comfort zone for most of us. We can continue to be like a frog floating in a pot of water feeling quite safe and comfortable little realizing that the pot sits on a stove slowly warming to a boil…or we can wake up, realize where we are, and jump out.

Ponder this as you color this mandala throughout the month of March.

And as you color the flag, how would you decorate it? what logo or message would you design?
Happy Coloring!

Most Rape Cases Are About Consent, Not DNA

The backlog of untested rape kits causes continuous outcry among women’s advocates. Wendy Murphy says this focuses on the wrong issue because most rape cases are about consent, not who did it.

 (WOMENSENEWS)–Throughout the country we hear constant outcry about DNA rape kits that never get tested.Women’s eNews has run commentaries about this supposed outrage and just two weeks ago The New York Times reported on a presumably shocking stockpile of untested kits in Texas. A couple of years ago, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof compared the problem to something more likely to occur in Afghanistan than the United States, which turned up the clamor about untested kits.

The U.S. legal system may be embarrassingly bad at providing meaningful redress for rape victims, but untested DNA kits are not the problem. To the contrary. Public attention to the untested kits makes the problem of systemic injustice worse because it saps precious resources and distracts us from the real issues.

DNA testing is not only a red herring wrapped up in a Trojan horse, it’s a gigantic neon whale, stuffed inside a Trojan elephant-in-the-room.

Rape kits may be stacked up in criminal evidence closets all over the country, but not because there isn’t enough money or political will to demand testing. It’s because as many as 90 percent of the kits contain evidence that is, at most, irrelevant.

Eighty-five percent of victims know their attackers and the defense is focused on consent, not whether the act occurred. In such cases, DNA tells us nothing about the issue in dispute. A rape kit could contain the DNA of three men, five sheep and the Loch Ness monster, and it would have nothing to do with whether the victim consented to sex on the night in question. (Read more)

How to raise a boyfriend

If there is a book that can be accurately judged by its cover, it is How to Raise a Boyfriend by Rebecca Eckler. Book offers relationship advice based on the idea that men are just like children, desperately in need of raising by women.  This books biggest failure (aside from its gender essentialism) is the horrible advice Eckler gives.  Not only is it biased, sourced exclusively from all things Eckler (her experiences, muffin-waxer, exes, etc.), but it’s dangerous. Recommended raising techniques include lying about low self-esteem, sending passive-aggressive messages, invading privacy, initiating guilt trips, promising sex acts for good behavior, abstaining from sex acts as punishment, and the list goes on. It’s the use of sex that is particularly problematic:

"When women are asked to believe they are “gifting” their sexuality, the pleasure and power in it is lost, and the potential for female sexual agency is removed. Sex is many things to many people, but the last thing it should be is part of a barter system to acquire respect and admiration."

She has a huge following which begs to question, how can people be so accepting of a reductionist and factually incorrect worldview?

No jail for rapist because victim “wanted to party”

Yes. This is a real headline. A Manitoba judge ruled last week that a rapist won’t go to jail because “sex was in the air.” From The National Post:

"Rhodes and a friend met the 26-year-old woman and her girlfriend earlier that night outside of a bar under what the judge called “inviting circumstances.” Judge Dewar specifically noted the women were wearing tube tops with no bra, high heels and plenty of makeup. “They made their intentions publicly known that they wanted to party,” said the judge. He noted the women spoke of going swimming in a nearby lake that night “notwithstanding the fact neither of them had a bathing suit.”
…This is a different case than one where there is no perceived invitation,” he said. “This is a case of misunderstood signals and inconsiderate behaviour.”
Judge Dewar said he didn’t want to be seen as blaming the victim, but that all of the factors surrounding the case must be viewed to assess “moral blameworthiness.”

Apparently this “moral blameworthiness” has everything to do with wearing tube tops and plenty of makeup, and alluding to skinny dipping. Because “sex in the air” always means “inevitable sex.” Right.

8 Tips for Feeling Happier During an Unhappy Time

I'm not one of those shiny happy people types.  Not a glass half full kind of girl, but not a glass half empty.  More keep the glasses coming type, which is why I love Gretchen Rubin.

Gretchen Rubin spent a year studying books and research reports about happiness and then tested out the ideas on herself to find out if they would make her happier. She wrote about her experiments in a highly-entertaining memoir called The Happiness Project.

Every Wednesday is tip day.  This Wednesday: 8 tips for feeling happier during an unhappy time.

1. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful. When things look really dark, it's hard to feel grateful, but remembering what's good in your life can help put problems into perspective. I have a friend who recently suffered a big disappointment at work. She said to me, "As long as my family is healthy, I can't get too upset about anything." This may sound like hackneyed advice, but it's really true.

2. Remember your body. Take a twenty-minute walk outside to boost your energy and dissolve stress. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. Get enough sleep. Manage pain. When you’re anxious, it’s easy to stay up late and eat ice cream -- and that’s going to make you feel worse in the long run. It's very tempting to run yourself ragged trying to deal with a crisis, but in the long run, you just wear yourself out.

3. Do something fun. Temporarily distract yourself from the stress, and re-charge your battery, with an enjoyable activity. Watching a funny movie is a reliable way to give yourself a pleasant break, and listening to your favorite music is one of the quickest ways to change your mood. When my older daughter was in the intensive-care unit as a newborn, my husband dragged me off to a movie one afternoon -- and that few hours of distraction made me much better able to cope with the situation. Be careful, however, not to “treat” yourself by doing something that’s eventually going to make you feel worse (taking up smoking again, drinking too much, indulging in retail therapy). My comfort-food activity is reading children's literature.

4. Take action. If you’re in a bad situation, take steps to bring about change. If you’re having trouble with your new boss, you could decide to try to transfer. Or you could change your behavior. Or you could find ways to pay less attention to your boss. Ask yourself, "What exactly is the problem?" It's astounding to me that often, when I take time to identify a problem exactly, a possible solution presents itself.

5. Look for meaning. Re-frame an event to see the positive along with the negative. Maybe getting fired will give you the push you need to move to the city where you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe your illness has strengthened your relationships with your family. You don’t need to be thankful that something bad has happened, but you can try to find positive consequences even in a catastrophic event.

6. Connect with friends and family. Strong relationships are a KEY to happiness, so fight the impulse to isolate yourself. Show up. Make plans. Ask for help, offer your help to others. Or just have some fun (see #3) and forget your troubles for a while.

7. Make something better. If something in your life has gotten worse, try to make something else better – and it doesn’t have to be something important. Clean a closet. Organize your photographs. Work in the yard.

8. Act toward other people the way you wish they’d act toward you. If you wish your friends would help you find someone to date, see if you can fix up a friend. If you wish people would help you find a job, see if you can help someone else find a job. If you can’t think of a way to help someone you know, do something generous in a more impersonal way. For instance: commit to being an organ donor! When you’re feeling very low, it can be hard to muster the energy to help someone else, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Do good, feel good; it really works.

What other strategies have you used to make yourself happier during an unhappy time?