Non-Virgin Women Are Just Like Used Cars

An ad from a used car dealership that ran in the London Free Press, a free newspaper in London, Ontario. The ad compares used cars to sexually experienced women with the lines, “You know you’re not the first. But do you really care?”:

It’s blatant objectification of women, but “in addition to objectifying women to sell vehicles, this campaign suggests that a woman’s sexual past is equivalent to depreciation.”

The gift of Solitude

“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.” ~Henry David ThoreauThe Benefits of Solitude

 

The best art is created in solitude, for good reason: it’s only when we are alone that we can reach into ourselves and find truth, beauty, soul. Some of the most famous philosophers took daily walks, and it was on these walks that they found their deepest thoughts.  Just a few of the benefits I’ve found from solitude:

• time for thought
• in being alone, we get to know ourselves
• we face our demons, and deal with them
• space to create
• space to unwind, and find peace
• time to reflect on what we’ve done, and learn from it
• isolation from the influences of other helps us to find our own voice
• quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar

There are many more benefits, but that’s to get you started. The real benefits of solitude cannot be expressed through words, but must be found in doing.

How to Find Solitude

You start by disconnecting.
Take every means of connecting with others, and sever them. Disconnect from email, from Facebook and Twitter and MySpace, from forums and social media, from instant messaging and Skype, from news websites and blogs. Turn off your mobile device and phones.
Turn off the computer … unless you’re going to use the computer to create, in which case, shut off the Internet, close your browser, and shut down every other program used to connect with others.
The next steps depend on which of two strategies you use:
1. Holing yourself up. This can be done in your office, by shutting the door and/or using headphones and the calming music of your choice. If possible, let coworkers know you can’t be disturbed during a certain block of your day. Or it can be done at home, by finding a quiet space, shutting the door if you can, or using headphones. The key is to find a way to shut out the outside world, including co-workers or those who live with you.
2. Getting away. My favorite way to find solitude, actually. Get out the door, and enjoy the outdoors. Take a walk, find a park or a beach or a mountain, find a quiet coffee shop, find a shady spot to rest. People watch, or nature watch.
Other tips:

• Try taking a quiet, relaxing bath from time to time.
• Curl up with a good novel.
• If you’re married with kids, ask your spouse to give you some time off to be alone, and then return the favor. Make it a regular swap.
• Take a walk every day.
• Get into work earlier, and work in quiet.
• Have a nice cup of tea.
• Try a regular time each day when you’re disconnected.
• Consider limiting the stream.
• Trouble with self-control? Use one of these tools.
• No time for solitude? Try these tips.
• Try sitting still, and focusing on your breath as it comes in and goes out. As your mind wanders to thoughts of the past and future, make a patient note of that, then gently return to your breathing.

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” ~Albert Einstein

Pema Chodron "This Lousy World"

Survivor Art Show at Waffle Frolic - Art for Awareness

Trust - Mandala of the Month

The idea of “trust” seems to be popping up everywhere for me and others around me. It can be a big issue outside of ourselves…can we trust the media, our government, our boss, our neighbors, our family? While all important, the trust I speak of with this month’s mandala refers to self trust.

Trusting yourself issue are the voices in my head. Which one do I listen to? One voice says to do this, another says to do that. How do I know when my true voice is speaking to me?  Can you trust yourself to do what you say you’re going to do? Can you trust yourself to make the “right” decision? Can you trust yourself to truly know what course of action would be best to take?
Sometimes I catch myself avoiding making any decision because I’m afraid I’ll pick the wrong one. The “what ifs” take over. What if I decide this way and then realize I should have gone that way? What if I don’t like the decision I’ve made? What if? What if? What if? In the meantime, I feel stuck right where I am.
In another post, I mentioned how this feels like being in a room with all these doors. Each door leading to a path based on a decision that I make. For the longest time, when I would think of this room of doors, I would see myself just sitting on the floor, with my head held down totally overwhelmed by my choices, feeling totally clueless as to which one to choose.
One day it occurred to me to just pick one…any one! If I truly regret the decision, go back and choose again. I just needed to trust that whatever happens, I could/can handle it by either continuing on the path or bowing out and choosing another path…just keep moving forward. If I do choose to bow out I need to remind myself to treat it as a learning experience rather than being “wrong”.

To summarize: this is about learning to trust yourself. Yes we’ve all made decisions that we have regretted, which makes it more difficult for us to trust our decision making abilities. If we truly look at those decisions, though, we realize that we learned something from everyone of them. And while they may have turned out differently than planned, in some way or another we have gained from them. Trust you body to help you on a more intuitive level. And if you’re open to it, trust your guides and angels to help you on a spiritual level.
Ponder this as you color this mandala throughout the month of April.

Happy Coloring!!!

April is Sexual Violence Awareness Month

Keep a one sentence journal

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Last month's theme was Body, and last week’s resolution was to Manage pain. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This month’s theme is Memories, and this week’s resolution is to Keep a one sentence journal